


Can't Ever Get Enough

by electrictoes



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Coda, Established Relationship, F/M, in my dreams, please, s22e08 the only way out is through
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:02:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29713431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrictoes/pseuds/electrictoes
Summary: It's coda time! Coda to 22x08, where Amanda and Sonny get to be in the same room.
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins
Comments: 16
Kudos: 75





	Can't Ever Get Enough

**Author's Note:**

> One day we're gonna get Rollisi for real and I'm not going to need to write a coda to fill the void. 
> 
> Today is not that day.
> 
> Although I'm really hoping we do actually eventually get to see them together, rather than them dropping the bomb they've been together for months, someone on the SVU discord said they're avoiding each other at work because they're already together and so I ran with it - and it kind of got away from me.

  
Sometimes it actually felt like Sonny spent less time with Amanda since they’d started seeing each other; he knew objectively that wasn’t true, even if you only counted waking hours they were together outside of work more than they’d ever been before, but he noticed her absence more these days - and they were seeing less of each other at work. Not deliberately, necessarily, but they were trying not to be too obvious about their relationship, and although Liv was well aware - they had both confided in her separately; Amanda had gotten there first, but Liv had done a good job of pretending not to know while he got up the courage to tell her - they were trying to prove that their relationship wouldn’t impact their professional lives. So while they weren’t intentionally avoiding each other, they weren’t seeking each other out, either - lunch dates, coffee outside the courthouse, the little things that had sustained their friendship once he’d moved to the DA’s office, were on the back burner. 

The last few cases they’d had had also pulled them in different directions; their team up with the Bronx SVU hadn’t needed much input from him, the Bronx DA being very territorial about the whole thing, and this week he had been split between preparing for Jimmy Gunn’s parole hearing and trying to rein Kat in over her cousin’s case, meanwhile Amanda was dealing with an old case that had resurfaced, and it seemed as though they never managed to be in the precinct at the same time. Every time he walked up to the squad room his eyes had darted to her desk, but it had been empty. 

They hadn’t even seen each other outside of work for a few days - he’d barely made it out of the office before the girls’ bedtime at all this week. On Monday he’d arrived at her apartment after both she and the girls were in bed, and she was asleep by the time he’d showered and joined her in the bedroom; they’d managed a kiss goodbye on Tuesday morning and he hadn’t seen her since. The one day he hadn’t left the office with a pile of work to do at home he was tied up on a Zoom call with his family, and had to settle for texting Amanda out of view of the camera - allowing him to avoid his sisters’ knowing questions. He knew Amanda was tired, he was too, and as much as he wanted to head over to her place whenever he left the office, he knew he wouldn’t get much work done with her at the other end of the couch. They’d called every night, text frequently throughout the day, but he was still glad that the week was coming to an end. 

Now that it was finally Friday, and they both had the weekend clear for once, he was looking forward to spending time with her; she was sitting with the rest of the squad when he arrived at the bar, a drink already waiting for him. He took the seat next to hers, his arm sliding naturally along the back of her chair as he greeted the others. He took a long sip of his beer before leaning in close to Amanda. 

“Hey, I feel like I haven’t seen you all week.”

She nodded, “Yeah, you avoiding me?”

“No, course not,” he frowned. “It’s been a busy week.”

“I know,” she took a sip of her own drink and he met her eyes; he knew that this case had been tough, that she’d spent so many hours this week counselling the Coleman sisters as they faced Darryl Clark - he could see it had emotionally drained her. She was as ready for the weekend as he was. “Are we good?” she asked.

“Yeah, more than.”

“Sometimes I want to say screw it,” she said, leaning close, her eyes darting to the rest of the group. She lay her left hand on his thigh. “Forget the whole professional distance thing and just turn up at your office anyway.”

“Yeah,” he smiled, “Me too. The amount of times this week I’ve been lookin’ for an excuse to hang around until you got back.”

Fin coughed, interrupting them. “Are you two gonna share with the class or do you just wanna go home already?”

Sonny eyed Amanda, “We could go home,” he said, but Amanda just laughed.

“We’re just catching up.”

“Oh, that’s what they’re calling it these days,” Fin joked. Amanda rolled her eyes, but she didn’t move away, and she kept her hand where it was.

They turned their focus back to the group as the conversation moved on from work, to Noah, to Fin’s upcoming nuptials. The whole time Amanda didn’t move away from him, and as they laughed with their friends, he began to relax, to let the weight of the week lift from his shoulders.

They stayed for two drinks before Amanda called it a night. “I’ve got a sitter on the clock and I want to get back to tuck the girls in,” she said, rising from her seat and pulling her coat on. She trailed a hand across his shoulder, “You coming with?”

He didn’t hesitate. “Sure.”

“Have a good night you two,” Liv said, a smile on her face, a knowing look in her eyes. They said their farewells before walking out into the cold New York air, Amanda’s hand finding his as they made their way down the street, heading towards the subway.

“So, how was your lunch date with Kat?” she asked, a smile on her face.

“Don’t,” he said, “I don’t know what it is but she just hates me.”

“She doesn’t, no one hates you, you’re too-”

“Too what?”

“You,” she said, half shrugging, she pulled her coat tightly around herself with her free hand, the collar half covering her face in way he thought had less to the do with the cold than wanting an excuse to look away.

“What?” he asked again, nudging her gently with his shoulder.

“You didn’t tell me about lunch.”

“We had coffee - expensive coffee,” he frowned. “Where you going with this?”

“Just curious,” she turned to look at him now, her coat no longer obscuring her face. “I, uh, missed you this week.”

“I missed you too,” he said; he stopped walking and tugged her closer to him, pressing a kiss to her lips, “I know we’ve gotta be professional, especially right now, what with it being new and everythin’, but I don’t wanna go days without seeing you.”

“Me either,” she paused. “You could’ve come over.”

“I don’t wanna show up late and-”

“You’ve got a standing invitation, Carisi. I want you there whenever you want to be there.”

“Well that’s all of the time,” he said before he could stop himself. 

She looked a little taken aback, and she turned away from him. “We should get going if we’re going to make it back to say goodnight to the girls.” 

He nodded, moving his hands to his coat pocket as she stepped off before him; not for the first time he was cursing himself and his big mouth, but they’d only gone a few metres before she fell into step with him, threading her arm through his. His heartbeat slowed a little, the panic rescinding slightly. They didn’t speak again as they made their way down to the subway platform, but it wasn’t an awkward silence, and when they were sat down again on the train, she took his hand in hers.

“Carisi, I’m not saying I don’t want you there all of the time,” she said, looking up at him, “I do, but-”

“It’s too soon to talk about moving in,” he finished. “And that’s fine.”

“Is it?” 

He nodded. He wasn’t going to pretend he hadn’t thought about it, but it was far too soon to take that step - they were still figuring out how they fit together, and living together, full time, that was a way off yet, no matter how few nights he spent at his own apartment. “Yeah, it’d be crazy for us to move into together right now.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Crazy, huh?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do,” she looked down at their joined hands, “but, uh, I still want you to come over whenever you like.”

“Okay, I will… and maybe we can stop avoiding each other at work?”

“I wasn’t avoiding you.” She looked up at him, frowning. “Wait, were you actually avoiding me?”

“No, we’ve both been busy, but you know, normally I would’ve stopped by with coffee or food at least once - an’ I thought about it, but I didn’t want to… you know, we’re keeping things professional.”

“Professionals have still got to eat, and it’s not like we’re going to start making out in the squad room just because you bring cannolis.”

“Aren’t we?” he laughed. “Noted.”

The train pulled into their stop; Sonny rose first, pulling Amanda up with him and they walked together out of the station; it was snowing again, coming down in flurries as they walked the five minutes back to Amanda’s apartment. She moved closer to him, sharing in his warmth. 

Her cheeks were red by the time they got to her apartment building, and the fingers on his free hand were white with cold; they stopped for a second inside the building, enjoying the sudden warmth of being out of the wind. Together they walked up to the apartment, and he heard a squeal from inside as he put the key in the lock - Jesse, who came at him like a whirlwind the second he got the door open, Billie only just behind her, the two of them dressed in their pyjamas, ready for a bedtime story; he lifted Jesse up with ease, whilst Amanda picked up Billie, laughing at their enthusiasm.

“Uncle Sonny’s here!” Jesse yelled. “I didn’t see you in forever.”

“I know,” he mock-gasped. “You keep bein’ asleep when I get here.”

“Are you and momma having a sleepover?” she asked, eyes full of excitement. He glanced over at Amanda. “I think so.”

“If Uncle Sonny’s real good. And if you two monkeys go to bed on time he might even stay for breakfast.”

Later, once the girls were settled and Sienna had departed for the night, they sat on the couch, Amanda curled into him, a blanket draped over them both. He was warm and comfortable and had no intention of moving any time soon.

Amanda lifted her head from his chest, glancing up at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, glad to be here,” he trailed his fingers along her arm and she lay her head back down.

“Me too. This week was tough, this case… it got to me, and I’ve been feeling completely drained. When we got off the phone last night I fell asleep right here on the couch.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t with you.” 

She shook her head. “Hey, we’re still figuring this out, right? Us?”

“Yeah, but I wanna be there, when you’ve had a hard day I want to be with you, cook for you, help get the girls to bed, let you fall asleep on me.”

“I want you to be able to tell me about your hard days too; I want to know about how Kat’s driving you mad, and hear your rants about politics from the eighth floor. I don’t know where we draw the line, but I’m not having another week like this one - I don’t care if everyone in the precinct knows we’re together and I don’t care what they think about it.”

“You sure about that?” It was one thing to say it offhand like this, but another to make it reality, to walk into work knowing that people were going to be watching you, looking for fuel for the rumour mill.

“Carisi, I’m sure about _this_ ; and sooner or later people are going to have to find out, officially.”

“You know that they’ll question whether we can work together - whether I can be objective when I put you on the stand.”

“You and I both know that we haven’t been _just friends_ for a long time, since long before you became an ADA - your objectivity isn’t going to change because suddenly we’re not hiding it anymore.”

“I know that, an’ I have no issue with tellin’ the whole eighth floor that I’ve been in love with you for years now, but-”

She pulled back from him, sitting upright and leaving space between them on the couch. “You’ve been… what?”

“I… I didn’t mean to- I’m not - fuck. Forget it.”

“No, go back, Carisi - Dominick, what did you just say?”

“That, uh, I’ve been in love with you… for years,” he swallowed, butterflies in his stomach; he glanced across the room, calculating the odds of making it to the door, and getting his coat and shoes on before she could respond. She stared at him, eyes wide, mouth slightly open, and the feeling that he had just ruined the best thing he’d ever had came crashing down on him. He made to stand up, only to be stopped by her hand on his chest. He dropped his gaze to meet her eye.

“Say it again.”

“I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since… since I don’t even know when. I don’t remember _not_ being in love with you, okay?” The words poured out of his mouth before he could stop them, and once they were out he couldn’t take them back. He dropped his head into his hands, his elbows resting on his knees; his heart was thudding in his chest, his throat dry. They had taken so long to get here and he hadn’t planned on saying any of this for weeks, months maybe; certainly not this early on, and not like this.

Amanda swallowed; her cheeks were pink, and she looked as uncomfortable as he felt. “I-”

He lifted his head, turning to look at her again, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’ll go.”

She met his eye, shaking her head. “Don’t you dare.”

“What?”

“I love you too, you idiot.” She grabbed at his hand, tugging him towards her and closing the gap she’d created.

He stared at her, dumbstruck. He wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. “What?”

She laughed, cupping his face in her hands and pressing a firm kiss to his lips; he responded eagerly, still struggling to process what she’d just said. When they pulled apart she smiled at him, her hand still cupping his cheek. “You think I would’ve missed you this much if I didn’t? It’s only been _three days_ , Dominick. I’m not sure when, or how, but yeah, I love you too.” 

He couldn’t stop staring at her, couldn’t believe the turn this evening had taken. “I thought you were going to call things off.”

She shook her head. “No, no, I’m not going to let myself screw this up; did I think I’d end tonight telling you that I love you? No. No, I didn’t plan on ever telling you, but that’s the thing with you, isn’t it? You keep making me trust you.”

“You love me?”

“Yeah, come on, keep up - you know, for a smart guy you can be pretty stupid.”

He kissed her again - and she kissed him back - and in the back of his mind her _I love you_ was playing over and over on repeat, and he had to pull back to look at her - to grin down at her like an idiot and because he wanted to hear her saying it again, he never wanted to stop hearing it. “Tell me again.”

“No,” but she was smiling back at him, and she drew him into another, deeper kiss - they moved together until she had him pressed into the couch, her legs on either side of him, a wicked grin on her face when she drew back for air. “I love you,” she whispered, their foreheads pressed together as they caught their breath. She said the words like she could hardly believe they were coming from her mouth, like they were a dangerous, long held secret that she couldn’t contain any longer, and he drank them in, whispering them back to her between kisses, and as she led him to the bedroom, and later, in the dark, as they lay side by side, their legs intertwined, sweat cooling on their skin. And he would whisper it again when they awoke, and on Monday when he kissed her goodbye outside the precinct, knowing that he would be bringing her coffee and baked goods by mid-morning. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really enjoying writing Rollisi and it's definitely getting me back into writing in general; thank you to everyone who has been reading ♥ ♥
> 
> I'm working on some slightly angsty mc stuff, but no episodes for a while means no codas, so if anyone has any light hearted prompts feel free to send them over - my tumblr is also electrictoes ;)


End file.
